Leaving your legacy

Do you ever wonder what it is you’re remembered for? What is the one thing people keep in mind after they first meet you? What do your close friends say about you? Any idea what your acquaintances from work and school really thought about you? I wonder about this stuff all the time.

Perhaps I need more jobs to fill my time.

Perhaps I’m being vain. Perhaps a second thought is never given to me. Maybe my interactions with others are quickly overlooked. Would you be disappointed to learn that people forgot about you as quickly as they met you? As I sit and ponder this I then think about how I treat others.

Perhaps I think too much?

How do I interact with others? Do I always treat people with respect? Do I always act in a manner in which I’d be proud? Or my parents would be proud? If someone were to interview the people in my life what would they say? Am I nice, funny, selfish, arrogant, kind, cheerful, cold, insincere? Would they say “oh yeah, Devin was a good guy” or would they say “great guy”? Neither?

I really don’t know what people have, do, and will think about me. I’ve asked some people before but candor is hard to come by. Trust and honesty don’t come easily. Some of the best feedback I’ve received has come from people in drunken stupors. Was everything said true? I’d like to think so, but I really don’t know. So, I sometimes try to play out the documentary illustrating my life. Which details are highlighted? Am I known as the guy who napped? The kid with a bunch of jobs? He never said no. He was too busy for this or that.

Then I go on to think more. I’ve “only” been on the planet for two decades. What is that underlying theme surrounding me and my life? In order to answer that I suppose I’d need a passion. Artists are passionate about their art. Entrepreneurs are passionate about their company. Parents can be passionate about their children. But what are accountants passionate about? What is a geek like myself passionate about?

I wonder about the more successful people I can imagine. Directors. Architects. Musicians. Their passion and their life become one. In fact, other aspects of life suffer. Families are forgotten. Friends disappear. It’s all about the work sometimes.

So, I’m faced with this dichotomy. Fill my life with meaningful relationships? Work hard and with passion towards being the greatest at something? Can you do both? History suggests no. Is life really that simple? A or B? Black or white?