Comments on: Living Honestly http://devin.reams.me/living-honestly/ Thoughts on life, business, and technology. Thu, 11 Mar 2010 16:23:00 -0700 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.2 hourly 1 By: Francis http://devin.reams.me/living-honestly/comment-page-1/#comment-303 Francis Fri, 26 Jun 2009 20:59:57 +0000 http://devinreams.com/2006/03/06/living-honestly/#comment-303 Interesting to find this as I have discovered that I do lie about many things quite a bit. Big things, small, unimportant and sadly the important things as well. It is strange how our minds will rationalize just about anything to self protect, and all under your own radar. It seems to move through us silently until it causes a problem, then in the face of conflict we may still choose to lie, deny, then fly away instead of just saying what is really on our minds and be done with it. Living honestly has proven to be more difficult than I ever imagined. Not because I want to hide myself from others, but because of the habits created by unrecognized fear. Interesting to find this as I have discovered that I do lie about many things quite a bit. Big things, small, unimportant and sadly the important things as well.
It is strange how our minds will rationalize just about anything to self protect, and all under your own radar.
It seems to move through us silently until it causes a problem, then in the face of conflict we may still choose to lie, deny, then fly away instead of just saying what is really on our minds and be done with it.
Living honestly has proven to be more difficult than I ever imagined. Not because I want to hide myself from others, but because of the habits created by unrecognized fear.

]]> By: Jackie http://devin.reams.me/living-honestly/comment-page-1/#comment-302 Jackie Mon, 05 Jan 2009 17:43:21 +0000 http://devinreams.com/2006/03/06/living-honestly/#comment-302 I think living honestly can be very difficult. Not with surface items, but with matters of the heart. They are usually conflicting with expectations, etc. I am working on living honestly, but find it difficult. Sometimes there seems to be so much to lose, perhaps there is much to gain but fear gets in the way. I think living honestly can be very difficult. Not with surface items, but with matters of the heart. They are usually conflicting with expectations, etc.
I am working on living honestly, but find it difficult. Sometimes there seems to be so much to lose, perhaps there is much to gain but fear gets in the way.

]]> By: RT http://devin.reams.me/living-honestly/comment-page-1/#comment-301 RT Fri, 26 Jan 2007 14:14:39 +0000 http://devinreams.com/2006/03/06/living-honestly/#comment-301 What comes to mind is this conundrum - are you really free to tell the truth or to not withhold information when you know that information will hurt someone else. In other words, telling someone you don't want to know them anymore - when they ask why you're not calling. It may be true that you don't want to know that person, but does the knowledge that you've made this choice really help, or in fact hurt them. One could beg it off saying things like I'm busy or I'm going through changes (a common blase remark to dismiss people) but with the cold hard truth of I don't like you anymore, isn't one burdening the individual who is being rejected with a little too much truth? Giving someone a back door to soften the blow of a hurtful truth is not necessarily a lie, some might define it as tact, or in some cases, good manners. It's alarming how often people are hurt in the name of "truth". Relationships ending are a case in point. Perhaps under the insistence of the person being left a cold, hard explanation is necessary to break the bond. But it's sometimes the will of the leaver over the leavee - a final power point, to make the "truth" the basis for the demise of the relationship. Also, when someone is telling the truth about something that is despicable it's good to know but damned if you want to - on some level. All in all the living of an honest life can land you in a lonely place. It's deemed as rudeness and self-centeredness. More than running a red light in the middle of the night when there's no one in sight, an "honest" life could be interpreted as relieving oneself on the person who may not want to hear your truth. I wonder if there isn't some truth to the adage - if you don't have anything nice to say (truth or lie) then don't say anything at all. What comes to mind is this conundrum – are you really free to tell the truth or to not withhold information when you know that information will hurt someone else. In other words, telling someone you don’t want to know them anymore – when they ask why you’re not calling. It may be true that you don’t want to know that person, but does the knowledge that you’ve made this choice really help, or in fact hurt them. One could beg it off saying things like I’m busy or I’m going through changes (a common blase remark to dismiss people) but with the cold hard truth of I don’t like you anymore, isn’t one burdening the individual who is being rejected with a little too much truth? Giving someone a back door to soften the blow of a hurtful truth is not necessarily a lie, some might define it as tact, or in some cases, good manners. It’s alarming how often people are hurt in the name of “truth”. Relationships ending are a case in point. Perhaps under the insistence of the person being left a cold, hard explanation is necessary to break the bond. But it’s sometimes the will of the leaver over the leavee – a final power point, to make the “truth” the basis for the demise of the relationship. Also, when someone is telling the truth about something that is despicable it’s good to know but damned if you want to – on some level. All in all the living of an honest life can land you in a lonely place. It’s deemed as rudeness and self-centeredness. More than running a red light in the middle of the night when there’s no one in sight, an “honest” life could be interpreted as relieving oneself on the person who may not want to hear your truth. I wonder if there isn’t some truth to the adage – if you don’t have anything nice to say (truth or lie) then don’t say anything at all.

]]> By: Tim http://devin.reams.me/living-honestly/comment-page-1/#comment-300 Tim Tue, 07 Mar 2006 12:56:59 +0000 http://devinreams.com/2006/03/06/living-honestly/#comment-300 I think I'm quite honest. I don't lie a lot, and I don't break the law too much. I'd only have to stop using eMule, which, ironically, I use a lot /for other people/. The lies are the hardest to get rid of. Quitting lying isn't so hard, but if you simply want to refuse answering a question, you're often in effect giving the answer away. One last remark; refusing to answer is not dishonest in my opinion. So the "I can ask you any question?"-thing would have been different if I would have been the subject of this, erm, "test". I think I’m quite honest. I don’t lie a lot, and I don’t break the law too much. I’d only have to stop using eMule, which, ironically, I use a lot /for other people/.

The lies are the hardest to get rid of. Quitting lying isn’t so hard, but if you simply want to refuse answering a question, you’re often in effect giving the answer away.

One last remark; refusing to answer is not dishonest in my opinion. So the “I can ask you any question?”-thing would have been different if I would have been the subject of this, erm, “test”.

]]> By: » links for 2006-03-07 » InsideGoogle » part of the Blog News Channel http://devin.reams.me/living-honestly/comment-page-1/#comment-299 » links for 2006-03-07 » InsideGoogle » part of the Blog News Channel Tue, 07 Mar 2006 12:46:07 +0000 http://devinreams.com/2006/03/06/living-honestly/#comment-299 [...] Devin Reams | Living Honestly | devinreams.com Devin is given an assignment to live completely honest for three days, and discovers its a lot easier said than done. [...] [...] Devin Reams | Living Honestly | devinreams.com Devin is given an assignment to live completely honest for three days, and discovers its a lot easier said than done. [...]

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